Welcome back to JACLAND, a blog following me on the journey to fulfill the dreams of every version of myself. Prepare to be dazzled.

12-18-05

“I never know how to start out journals. I always say something like, I’m Jaclyn Rose MacDonald.”

My flagship journal starts just after I turned 16. I had the emotional depth of a dog bowl, I was going out with Danny, who’s been dating my best friend for almost three years now and I hated my parents. I really hated my parents. The amount of times I call my mom a bitch is staggering (sorry Mom, you’re perfect I love you).

My loose interpretation of “Scene” at the time. True scene is a little more eye liner, a lot more black, tighter clothes and hair that looks like your head actually exploded.

To give a broad overview of the times, it’s important to say that all my friends were in hardcore bands, and we were all very connected with the local scene. At the time, the Scene mostly meant getting all your friends together to smoke cigarettes while they took turns playing music for each other. My parents didn’t like my participation in the scene. They always thought we were getting into bad stuff. Really, Danny and I were just buying little army men and bombing each others troops with bouncy balls.

I was also terrified of love. Danny was the first person I was serious about and it totally freaked me out. I was heavily influenced by the anti-love movie How to Deal and considered myself to be one with Mandy Moore’s character. I recently rewatched the movie and if you need a visual of who I was at the time, and also hate yourself, give the flick a spin. The tagline is “A Lesson in Love for Non-Believers” and features a father who cheats on a mother with a younger woman. You know the trope and the implied affects it has on young women…

The classic and relatable tale of having divorced parents, a best friend who gets pregnant just before her boyfriend dies and falling in love with a guy who almost kills her in a car accident.

Volume one is very Vampire Diaries in how I thought writing down my woes would make them important. I over dramatized everything and was deeply convinced I was crazy. From this version of Tiny Jac, we get what I thought were the answers to it all.

In season one of JACLAND, we’ll revisit the music of the time with the bands Neon Blonde and Test Icicles (yes, a play on testicles). The Blood Brothers were big amongst our group and these knock offs were floating around the scene.

We’re going to dig deep into my young desire to learn everything, complete with a hefty list of things I’ll be learning over the weeks (how to pick locks, the history of women in rock and roll, chemtrail conspiracy theories, and morse code to name a few).

And we’ll discuss the answers to really dumb questions like “How can coconuts have cholesterol?” (They can’t and they don’t).

Next week I’ll get started on the one big project I left behind in this volume. An atrocious concept I’m surprised even Tiny Jac would be interested in entertaining.

I’LL BE WRITING A DAMSEL-MEETS-KNIGHT FAIRYTALE… So, if you thought this blog would be about interesting or forward thinking topics, you were wrong.

I’d like to end this post with some advice wise young me left for dumb old me. And like all the advice I’ll be taking from Tiny Jac, I’ll practice it completely for the week I write on it, with updates to come in the following post. Maybe some of the advice will fix up my bad attitude or shake out some real interest I’ve got lodged in my head sludge.

1/1/06 12:40pm

“…I just want to open up and start making friends with everyone. Just live up life and not worry. Not worry about school, Danny, friends, parents nothing. Just go, do and have fun because you live once and I want to think that I had a really fun life I guess.”

I first took this at face value. Stop worrying, have fun. Then I realized over the years I’ve wanted to do loads of fun things I’ve never done before and, really, that’s the point of this blog. So, starting next week, I’ll be doing a weird weekly adventure. Some examples include make a fortress of solitude and spend a day in it, mini golf, birthday cake shots, night swimming, Ninja Turtle day (!), revamping my temporary tattoo collection, and other things that make me a cute, quirky date (ladiessss). If you’re in NYC and you’re looking for a weird time, callmebeepme.

So join me in our first experiment. This week, let’s not worry. Not worry about unemployment, debt, the future, our purpose, nothing. Choose your own adventure, and let me know how it goes. I’ll be going places that sound interesting, doing what feels right and having fun because YOLO and I want to think that I had a really fun life I guess.

Wish me luck, and try to make some friends this week.

Photos courtesy of Hannah (at the time) Huth

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