Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes

Hello! Welcome back to adventures in 2006…

3-15-06, 13 years ago today:

“What the hell? I’m such a bitch. All I do is complain about how my life isn’t perfect. Suck it up.”

So little has changed…

Museum at Eldridge Street. And me waiting for someone to come out of the shadows and tell me I’m a wizard.

Last week I resolved to just stop worrying and have fun (as an actual task, not as a romantic notion). That led me to having a very Jewish Monday. I took a trip to the former synagogue, Museum at Eldridge Street. It’s like stepping into the cathedral-esque setting of every YA novel about a girl with dormant super powers. A stunning space with a rather interesting history. Well worth it (pay-as-you-like on Mondays, so quit your job and dig it for free).

The guide Jan suggested I go to Yonah Schimmel’s Knishes for a knish (which I’d never had and now need a separate bank account for). A hole in the wall on Houston Street, Yonah’s is a low-key spot with a few seats and knishes coming out of the ceiling. I got a blueberry and cheese knish and almost died (from all the cheese) (also because it was stupid good). Next, Jan sent me to Economy Candy on Rivington St. All the candy from a variety of cultures throughout history. I bought her favorites, Turkish Taffy and Carrafelo Piemonte Classico (the latter of which is my new frenemy). All in all, thanks Jan. You’re a bad bitch.

Forest Hills. Where all the blue birds are actually animated and the deer dance to the sound of flutes.

Tuesday I went to Forest Hills, which can only be described as a missed opportunity for the setting of Once Upon a Time. Every house looks like a cottage from Snow White. A beautiful and wealthy community where people pick up their dog shit. I had fruit Jian Bing which is kinda like a crispy, eggy crepe and it ruled. They also gave me a poison apple mug from Snow White. Which was too much, honestly.

And then on Thursday I agreed to view a stranger’s film for $25. It was strange and I got $25.

All in all, it was an indulgent week. Little Me wanted to look back and see fun times, and I’m with her. But Big Me wants to look forward and see not-scary times and I’m very poor. So I suppose, this is why sixteen year olds aren’t responsible for anything. Still, I’ll continue to do weekly weird stuff. If anyone wants to join me this week in NYC, I’ll be exploring (the hopefully creepy and weird) City Island, a tiny island community in the Bronx. (Follow me on Instagram for story updates throughout the week).

As promised, the big project I’m working on for this journal is the Damsel meets Knight story. I’ve transcribed the note so you can see, more or less, exactly what I left for myself…


“A City Island resident not born on the island is known as a ‘musselsucker.'”
Population: 4,387 (2010)

Knight – Damsel, Knight = Prideful (until he meets Damsel)

Damsel (love has been “stolen” by “merlin figure” Knight loves Damsel

Damsel can’t love knight because love is stolen

Must Kill “Merlin” to get back love

Knowing this would be my first actual project, I milled over ideas right when I cracked into volume one. Then, I casually ran the idea by my champion story guru Jeff Bryson, a co-worker and 3D artist, who almost instantly had a better idea than any of the ones I came up with. Thanks Bryson and don’t go far, I’ll need you for the next story project (see his work here). So I wrote the whole thing already. I’m unemployed. I’ve got loads of time. It’s not all knishes and tiny islands around here.

Thus far, I’ve written (almost 100% Bryson’s idea) that the kingdom is plagued with bad crops and the King and Princess summon a wizard to save them. He takes her ‘heart’ as payment and she becomes evil. A Prince goes to see them after the exact same thing happened in his kingdom and the wizard took his mother’s ‘heart’. He vows to find the wizard and see if they can make another bargain for the return of the love taken. So he and the Princess, with the help of three annoying pixies, set out to find the wizard and in hopes of restoring the love they’d lost.

Or some shit. I’ve conveniently left out how proud the Knight is and how he’s in love with the Princess. I’m just not that kinda guy anymore. Sorry Tiny, hetero Jac.

Anyway, I’ll be working on edits this week and would LOVE a second/third/fifteenth pair of eyes if anyone wants to sacrifice themselves to a short, roughly 20 page essay. Updates to come next week.

I’m adjusting my quest to not worry this week (spend less because I don’t have a job, get a job so I can spend more), but it’s a great sentiment. Don’t worry, have fun. And I have been. I will also be diving into Test Icicles. I wish there was a less gross way of saying that, but there it is. The band circled our group of friends pretty much only because we liked the Blood Brothers and this is similar. Other things I may get into: Albertine French bookstore, check out the Sisyphus Stones, and give drawing another go. It never had a proper first go, so I guess this is first go number two.

Wish me luck and try a knish this week.